Throughout my healing journey, I've taken comfort in knowing that there are people who share the same mindset and values as me. After feeling for so long that there was something wrong with me, that I was too sensitive, that I felt things too strongly, or that I was delusional for still believing that good people exist after being hurt so many times. It was reassuring to read advice that completely resonated with how I was feeling and spoke to me on a deep level.
Here are 20 pieces of healing advice that kept my faith in humanity alive while I was working through my trauma:
1. "Couples in healthy relationships also argue, have different opinions, feel frustrated, insecure and bored at times. Healthy doesn’t mean perfect. What makes a relationship perfect is HOW you choose to move through those challenges TOGETHER." - Third Eye Thirst
2. "Let go. Love them from a distance. Let them figure out their feelings, what they want in life, where they’re going, and who they want to be. Focus on yourself and your goals while giving them space. Remember, you’re not obligated to still be there waiting when they’re ready." - Self Love Healer
3. "We’re scared to be vulnerable because it’s been used against us in the past. Our softness was judged as weakness. But when you put up walls within yourself, you don’t just block out the potential for pain. You also block out the potential for love and connection." - Jay Shetty
4. "An upgrade isn’t someone who looks better than your last. An upgrade is someone who treats you better, and appreciates and values you more than your last." - Positive Thoughts Vibe
5. "Trauma Says: Put on a mask. Control yourself. Hide. Find the things that win you any amount of praise and belonging, and make them the focus of your personality. No nuance, no messiness. You need to find your place in the world and stick to it. There is no room for you to be your whole self. No one would like you if you did.
Healing Says: You don't have to keep up the performance to be accepted. Yes, there have been people who have only loved you for the masks you wore, but there are other people out there who will love you for YOU. Messy, flawed, paradoxical, YOU. Create a space for yourself to practice being the full version of yourself. Then slowly, let others see." - Blooming With Emmy
6. "A good connection can be ruined over the simple fact you miscommunicated or chose to not communicate at all. A good connection can be easily lost, because you chose to ghost instead of speaking on your fears, feelings and intentions." - Poetic SOS
7. "It’s okay to believe in “fairytales”. Healthy love exists. Long-lasting love exists. You know you can give everything you want to receive. Therefore that kind of love that you crave exists. You’re the proof. Don’t let the world or bad experiences harden your beautiful heart." - Amanda Perera
8. "Hurt people hurt others, but luckily healed people heal others. Safe people, shelter others. Free spirits, free others. Enlightened people, illuminate others. And love always wins. So shine your light of love on all who may cross your path in life, because what you do matters." - The Oracle Reads You
9. "When you set a boundary with someone and they continue to push back on it - understand that this person is more interested in getting THEIR need met over respecting your boundary. People disrespecting your boundaries is not an invitation to coddle their fear of rejection. Don’t fold." - Imani Tutt
10. "Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are." - Rachel Naomi Remen
11. "You are afraid of surrender because you don’t want to lose control. But you never had control; all you had was anxiety." – Elizabeth Gilbert
12. “When we encounter difficult times in our lives, often our initial strategy is to simply run away. But we find that our troubles follow us. Paradoxically, one of the best ways to heal is to turn toward that which is injured within us.” - Jack Kornfield
13. "Some days you're coping. Some days you're on the floor. Some days you're taking steps forward. Some days everything feels hard. Some days you're healing. All of it is normal. Grief is not linear." - Empowered Through Grief
14. "Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidence. All events are blessings given to us to learn from." - Elizabeth Kübler-Rosee
15. "Healing doesn't have to look magical or pretty. Real healing is hard, exhausting, and draining. Let yourself go through it. Don't try to paint it as anything other than what it is. Be there for yourself without judgement." - Tiny Buddha
16. "Healing also involves distancing ourselves from relationships where we find ourselves tirelessly fighting to be seen, heard, and respected. It's not selfish. It's wisdom." - Taylor Grismore
17. "You don't have to be the bigger person. You don't have to accept insincere apologies. You don't have to tolerate relationships that drain you. You don't have to keep showing up for people who have no interest in showing up for you." - Michell C. Clark
18. "If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstasy within yourself. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch." - Victoria Erickson
19. "There's a point in your healing journey where you stop trying to convince other people to do the right thing, you just observe their choices, understand their character, and decide what you're going to allow in your life" - Brianna Wiest
20. "Be the person who breaks the cycle. If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you - to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain." - Lori Deschene
I hope this advice helps you in the way it helped me. Even if you don't resonate with all of it right now, our minds shift throughout the healing process and you'll hopefully reach a point where you see that the good in the world outweighs the hurt that people have caused you.