If you've ever found yourself watching Netflix or scrolling on your phone instead of making a dent in your to-do list, it's not just because you're lazy, there's science behind it.
Many people struggle to resist the temptation of prioritising short-term pleasure over a long-lasting reward. For example, one of the reasons we procrastinate is because deep down we'd rather put off challenging tasks in favour of more pleasurable activities. This is referred to as instant gratification, and the only way to change it is to practice delayed gratification.
What's an example of instant & delayed gratification?
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Let's say you have a solo trip in mind that you really want to go on, but you need to save up first. You also love shopping, going out for food, and you're in the impulsive habit of spending money without really thinking about it - £5 here and £10 there. Instant gratification would tell you to keep doing the habit because it makes you feel good in the moment. Delayed gratification would tell you to stop, resist temptation, think about the long term reward of going on your dream holiday, and put the money into your savings account instead.
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The psychology behind instant gratification
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The evolutionary explanation of instant gratification is that humans are wired to desire immediate rewards for survival. It was helpful for our ancestors who learned that they had to make the most of their resources, because they lived with uncertainty that they wouldn't be available later. For example, eating all the food they could before it became scarce.
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Psychology suggests that the pleasure principal drives the fully unconscious part of our personality (the id) to satisfy all psychological and physical needs, essentially seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.
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Some people may be more impulsive than others due to reasons such as genetics, brain chemistry, environmental influences, and personal experiences. Age is also a large factor as the frontal lobe - the part of the brain that controls impulses and self control - is still developing until around 25 years old, meaning that instant gratification may be witnessed more in teenagers and young adults.
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How do I learn to wait?
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If we never get out of the instant gratification cycle, it'll take us longer to achieve our goals and be able to live the life we want. Instead, we'll be living day-to-day, constantly chasing the next quick dopamine hit, and impacting on our ability to practice patience and self control.
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It's not an easy thing to change and, ironically, it won't happen over night, but here are some tips to help you soothe your impulsivity:
- Approach it with a glass half full mindset - ask yourself what you CAN have right now. Start small, and don't give up all instant gratification, chances are it won't be sustainable and you'll end up giving the whole process up.
- Think of helping the future version of you and thank your past self - even if you just do something that will make your life easier the next day, you've still provided tomorrow's you with a little reward. It can be something as small as going to bed an hour earlier so that you're not tired when you wake up in the morning.
- Focus on daily habits rather than the end goal - hold yourself accountable each day and create patterns that, with consistency, will eventually get you to where you want to be.
- Remember why you started - delaying gratification is hard because reality can hit and remind us that the reward could take years to achieve, or that it might not even be worth it in the end. When these thoughts start to creep in just remember why you wanted this change in the first place. Think of the things that are no longer serving you such as smoking, eating unhealthy foods, procrastinating, overspending, or not exercising. Write down how these things make you feel, how they're impacting your life, what the outcome could be if you don't change, and how future you may feel if you don't put an end to these cycles. Doing this will give you the discipline you need to stay dedicated.
As with any journey, be patient with yourself and don't engage in negative self-talk. If you occasionally give into instant gratification don't beat yourself up, the journey is long and nonlinear, you have time to get back on track. Remember: progress not perfection.